Saturday, February 9, 2013

Suprised

      I'm surprised. I didn't ever expect to already get 14 followers shortly after starting my blog. Not only that, but to get so many comments from them. From you! Thank you for all your comments and for caring. It really does mean a lot to me! I don't know quite what to say in reply to each comment but know that I read them and they've got me thinking. I still haven't told anyone I know about what I've done though. I don't think I could tell someone I know personally about it. I haven't even told you the whole story of my past (some of my present too). I'm not sure if I ever will but I might.

      A lot of you have told me that God will never turn His back on me but I'm not so sure. Either he's just not making himself known to me or I'm not listening very good. But I can tell you one thing -I don't feel his presence, love, or help. I know what it feels like to have those so I know what I'm talking about when I say I don't feel them anymore. I'm not surprised about that though, if I was him I'd do the same after the way I've been treating him. He's God after all. Why would he want to talk or listen to me when I just keep playing in the mud puddle of sin? It's not worth the effort to try and get me out because I'll just jump right back in. I really don't know why I keep doing the things I do. They don't make me happy. They make me hate myself. What a two-faced hypocrite I am! I say I'm a christian to those around me but I live like the complete opposite when they're not around. They'd be so surprised and shocked if they ever found out the horrid truth about me. For their sake, I hope they never do.

6 comments:

  1. First of all I don't know much about all this, I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer and I have only been saved for a little over a year but I can tell you that I struggled win whether God was listening to me before I got saved. I would run to my dad many a nights crying because do felt so distraught because I didn't feel like He was listening. Before I was saved I would cry myself to sleep at least once a month because of the feeling of doom and loneliness I felt. I'm not very good at helping people with there faith but I can tell you that was in sir of the same boat and I can tell you that all of it passed for me. It took a lot of nights of me begging God to listen but it passed. I'm not perfect. I also keep falling ingot he mud puddle of sin but God is always there for me holding out His hand and hat same hand is extended to help you out to. Sure you might slide down to the bottom again but He'll be there for you. All you have to do is take it. It might take some stretching, it not all lollipops like every one says. That's all I can say, it's between you and God but I will be praying for you.
    I hope this comment hasn't been to long.
    Rebekah

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sophia, what you need to realize is first, God always cares. You are His creation - His child. If you are struggling with questions of faith or Christianity, I cannot urge you enough to talk to someone who you trust. It does help.

    It's wonderful that you've asked for forgiveness (in reference to your last post) but don't give up. He doesn't on us. Make a decision (promise to yourself) to live a healthier (spiritually/mentally) life and stick with it. If part of your dilemma is peer pressure, make smarter decisions about who you trust and who you hang out with. As hard as it is at the time, in the long run, the reward is richer.

    In the meantime, we are hear. To listen.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hey Sophia! It is totally fine if you never tell us your whole story. I understand if it makes you uncomfortable, and I will never force you to tell me what you have done.
    I want to share with you some songs that I think you could benefit from listening to. Music always has a way of helping me. If you want, you should try to listen to:
    Forgiveness by Tobymac
    Forgiven by Sanctus Real
    How He Loves by The David Crowder Band

    Those are just some of my favorites, that always seem to help me :)

    ~Molly~
    mollyslittlecorner.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. Great job! You have done well! I wish I could say the same!

    Follow my blog:

    http://ramblingsontheloose.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hello Sophia, jut keep your FAITH, BE YOURSELF and everything will be alright.

    *hugs*

    you can follow my blog too if you want

    http://zanesaria.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. :) Good luck on your blog!!! I really enjoy the blogging community. I've had some trouble like you too. It's natural and normal for you to have a falling out with God. We are all human and I'm sure your friends and family wouldn't judge you so harshly. The past is the past. So don't linger on it and continue on and be the person that you want to be. The only advice I would give is for you to try. You can't do anything more than try. I set realistic goals for myself. Read little bits of the Bible and pray more often. Just take it one step at a time and trust Him.

    ReplyDelete

If you have any advice or anything you'd like to say please leave a comment. Rude or inappropriate comments won't be published!

Thanks!
-Sophia

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